It can be very difficult to experience yourself as different. Life may seem like it would be so much easier if you were like everybody else. However, it is the ways in which you’re most unique that can provide the richest source of meaning and purpose in your life. It can point to areas in which you can make significant contributions. Overcoming difficulties can be where the biggest rewards are found.

The “norm” is a special kind of average that occurs when the arithmetic average (like used to calculate grades in school), is exactly in the middle of the range of choices available (for example C is halfway between A and F), and is equal to the measurement that is the most common (called the mean). When personal characteristics are measured and graphed, they often create what is called a “normal curve” which is bell shaped. So, while not everybody is average, they are all on the normal curve!

When wishing their lives were easier, persons with different abilities often say, “I just want to be normal.” However, few people would say “I wish I were just average”! When people are having difficulties, it can be hard to recognize that it may be the source of their difficulties that gives them their greatest strengths, and their most intense passions.

Many times when a person experiences what the culture calls a disorder, or deficit, they also experience something perceived as a strength that is just as exceptional. That is, when there is a characteristic on one edge of the curve there is a often a corresponding uniqueness on the other side.

For example, someone with memory difficulties may develop skills in solving problems. Someone with attention problems may develop skills in multi-tasking. Vision problems may lead to exceptional hearing. Low intelligence may be coupled with strengths in trying harder or trying longer. Emotional difficulties may be combined with enhanced sensitivity to others. For where there is a “weakness”, there is often a corresponding “strength”.

Unique characteristics add together and make exceptional people. The trick is to learn to accept yourself as is, and work with your uniqueness in the way that is most rewarding. When people learn to use their exceptional characteristics to make meaningful contributions to their social environment they often find a profound joy in life. They are then able to accomplish things that average individuals can’t.

Then they are said to be “Flying on the Wings of the Bell Curve”

Janet Kaye Love is a Professional Counselor who works with youth who have a diverse range of physical, cognative, and emotional abilities to assist them in reaching their full potential. She also provides programs to educate the public and professional care givers about issues related to ability differences.

© Janet Kaye Love7333 East Highway 290 Suite 103, Austin, TX 78723512-782-2943Permission granted to distribute for therapeutic purposes, as long as no changes are made to any part of the document including contact information.